9. About a Wedding

It seemed from the moment I arrived in Jaipur, there was a buzz about “THE” wedding -  Priyanka, a teacher from Tushita Foundation, was getting married and we were all invited.   I looked forward to it of course - I hadn’t expected to experience a traditional Hindi wedding.

For for the first while, the most pressing issue was the “What will I wear” until one day I was in the playground, standing amongst the teachers, when one of them said they would be preparing a dance for ‘ladies sangeet’.   “How lovely”, says I (having no idea at the time what “ladies sangeet” was - its an evening of music and dance in honour of the bride).  “Yes and would you be a part of it with us.”   As I looked smiles of invitation upon their faces, the words “How nice of you to think of including me”“ came out whilst somewhere else, another part of my brain was screaming “OMG!!”.  

Shortly after, we were informed the music was ready (a medley of tunes) and so rehearsals began.  The teachers knew all the songs and they all know what various Indian hand gestures and moves in dance mean but, at the beginning, it was a little intimidating for the four of us volunteers.   It wasn’t helped by the fact that, in their excitement, they reverted to speaking Hindi - more than once, they’d finish hashing out some steps, then turn to the four of us with expectant gazes only to hear us say  “we have no idea what you just said”.  We were none of us sure we would ever get it right, but In India, “everything is possible”  and “don’t worry” is a way of life.

Soon enough the day was upon us, or should I say evening, and as we arrived, the garden grounds were being set up with tables, chairs and, good lord, a stage.  The thought briefly crossed my mind that it would be dark soon so probably no one of the several hundred people coming would see us anyway, but it was a very fleeting thought since we’d passed enough wedding grounds the last 2 weeks to know that they do lighting in a big way here and sure enough, just as dusk turned to darkness, lighting fit for a movie set switched on.

The music started and an emcee introduced the first dancer, a woman dressed in a gorgeous sari (understatement because the fabrics, colours and adornments pretty much defy description) performed a dance as other women went up onto the stage, circled the dancer and dropped rupees into a jar, followed by a lovely young couple and then a young boy who danced to “Superman” who was so entertaining and engaging, we all simultaneously looked at one another mouthing the words “there’s no way we’re following that act”!  Eventually it was our turn and the, before we knew it, we were done.   Everyone missed a step or two somewhere along the way but it was of no consequence in the end - Priyanka was clearly touched by our gesture as were numerous other of her family members.  Yes, there is a video but its 14 minutes long and requires someone with more techno-ability than I have to manage to get it uploaded, so you’ll have to wait till I see you to get to watch it!

A Hindu wedding is strikingly different from a North American wedding in several ways.  First, although the bride and groom have both agreed to the marriage, they don’t know each other and have spent no time together.  Secondly, once they are married, the bride leaves her family and friends, basically everything she has known to date, and leaves to live with the groom in his parent’s home where she adapts to their way of life.  As Alex put it, its not so much a new chapter in a bride’s life, rather it is the close of one book and the beginning of another.  

There are numerous wedding ceremonies taking place over a number of days (10 in this case)  either take where the bride and groom live -  Amer and Udaipur respectively, a travel distance of some six hours.   During this time, there were days when Priyanka and her family would board a train, travel the 6 hours to Udaipur for a ceremony, to return on an overnight train for the next ceremony early the next day.

The final day itself is an outstanding testament to endurance.   It starts early in the morning and lasts for a full 24 hours, followed immediately with the very emotional departure of the bride and groom to the groom’s home - another 6 hours before they sleep.  While there is opportunity for family members to slip away for some rest during the overnight hours, the bride and groom are there the entire time.  One wondered how they manage not to collapse with exhaustion but doubtless nervous anticipation has something to do with staying awake that long at such an emotional time.

The bride was stunning - her gown amazing - in fact, the array of fabrics, colours and jewels altogether took one’s breath away.  Even the groom’s attire was something to see. 

Here’s wishing Priyanka a wonderful married life together.